Birth Family RelationshipsEncouragementLoss and AttachmentNational Foster Care Month

I love you more…

 

A toddler boy walked through my door into my house with only the clothes on his back and no shoes. He didn’t show any fear and was quick to assimilate into our life for two days. Maybe he wondered why he was here and what happened to his mommy, but couldn’t put his thoughts into words. He toppled down our stairs on Day 1 when I put the carseat into the van. My second oldest raced out to the garage to tell me the emergency. I rushed in to hold the crying little one and comfort him. He stopped crying and allowed me to envelop him in my arms.

I love you more…

A teenage girl cursed at me, yelled that she hated me and demanded that I leave her room. Only 17 years younger than me, I became her mom for a couple of years. There were good times and bad times.

I love you more…

A newborn baby girl waited for me in the hospital, not knowing who would be her mother for the next three months. God chose me. Oh, she was so tiny and precious.

I love you more…

A toddler girl bit my toddler son on the arm. When we went out for dinner one night, she ran away from me, smiling and with her eyes dared me to catch her. She hated leaving her visits with her birth parents. But when she was with her birth parents, she would ask for Auntie ‘Chelle. By the end of her five-month stay, she would ask for her mommy when she got in trouble. I told her I wished she was with her mommy too.

I love you more…

A three-year-old girl thrashed around in her birth mom’s arms as they embraced and hit her when it was time to say goodbye after a visit to the Children’s Museum. She hated her mom for having to leave her. I reassured her mom that she has these big emotions from the separation and couldn’t help herself. She didn’t hate her. She wanted her mommy. She didn’t really want me, but I was safe because I had never disappointed her.

I love you more…

A 13-month-old baby girl, who lived with me for 10 months, had just started calling me Mama and my husband Baba. Then, God arranged for her to live with her parents again. She came to me for comfort, preferred me over her birth mom, and loved her three brothers here in our home. Her mom calls me her baby’s mom. I had to let her go.  Oh how I miss you…

I love you more…

A 33-year-old God-man spread out his arms and died for me, while I was still a sinner and had no love for Him, letting me know…”I love you more…”

“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13

If Jesus died and gave up His earthly life for me, a sinner in need of forgiveness, mercy, and grace, I can certainly take care of children in need for Him. If it causes me pain and inconvenience so that a sweet child can be loved, so be it. If I have to give my heart to love and attach so that this little one entrusted into my arms can love and attach, I will give my whole heart to be her mama and expect heartbreak.

Love is an action. Do something. Love, serve, encourage, listen, care, be there. Prove it.

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

There is no way children in foster care can love us more due to their trauma. Just as we were only able to love others because Jesus loved us first, we need to be that model of unconditional love for our children. Be encouraged to love them more and expect nothing in return. You will be stretched, humbled, brought to the end of yourself, and down on your knees for the strength and joy only the Lord can give. And it’s all worth it.

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