Birth Family RelationshipsEncouragementNew Placement

Fear

Woo hoo!  I am resurrecting my blog tonight.  The last you heard, I was completely heartbroken at the end of 2012.

Little did we know, about a month after our teenage foster daughter left, a precious little baby boy was born 3 months premature in Los Angeles.  As I sobbed daily in grief, feeling the emptiness of our daughter being gone, God was preparing a tiny new life to join us in April of 2013.  I felt like an utter failure as a parent, but God would soon build me up again.

I met him on Friday, April 5th at another foster home for an initial meeting.  Baby X had been there for a week, straight from the hospital.  The couple was unable to care for him any longer, so Olive Crest called us to see if we would take him in for about a month or two.  On Monday, April 8th, I drove over to the house, collected his few belongings, buckled him into the car seat and brought him home.

Fear kept us from considering adoption for Baby X.  The original goal was reunification and we didn’t have to face that option…at first.  Then January rolled around with a court hearing after 9 months of loving him as our own, seeing all of his little milestones.  God changed our hearts through many of your prayers and we officially became fost-adopt parents for Baby X.

Fear of potential teenage identity crisis (he is Mexican and we are Chinese), fear of our extended family members not accepting him as part of our family, and fear that he would one day resent us for adopting him kept us far, far away from the idea of cross-cultural adoption.  Now, we embrace it.  God extended His grace to call Gentiles as His own through Christ.  How can we not do the same?  His perfect love casts out fear.

BUT it’s just not that easy.  He is still on track for reunification with his extended family members.  Even though we said yes, it’s still a maybe.  Our social worker came to visit a couple of days ago and tears welled up in my eyes for the first time, thinking that Baby X might leave us one day soon.  So for now, we continue to love him deeply, yet hold him loosely.  Here is Baby X with his tia and prima.  They love him, too.

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